And so it begins......AGAIN!

Yup....I am still alive.  I haven't really been living, but I am still breathing in and out.  It has been almost a year since I went to the hospital with Viral Meningitis and Encephalitis.  The Meningitis hurt, but the Encephalitis has taken away my life.  The damage was small...so small that you can't see it on a CT scan or an MRI.  So small that the medical community has set me aside with a pat on the head and a basket full of medications.  I have been left to sort through the wreckage of what was once an incredibly active life.
I have spent the last year of my life on anti-depressants, anti-anxiety meds, blood pressure meds, anti-seizure meds, pain pills, and nose sprays trying to find some relief from the headache that the encephalitis created on the 3rd of February 2011.  Yup...I have had a migraine-like headache non-stop, every day, all day for an entire year.  Sucks to be me.  *L*
I also have a touch of the dumb.  :)  I have some short term memory issues, and some word recall issues.  Reading a book is quite a fiasco.  I have read and re-read to remind myself what the story line is.  Sometimes I remember, sometimes I don't.  I forget the story lines of TV shows, I forget conversations I had with my husband yesterday, I forget what I wore the day before, I forget that I have told my daughter things that need to be done.  I can't remember when my doctor's appointments are.  I can't remember if I've taken my medications.  I was sure all these little things would come back as time went on.  Looks like for now....I am incredibly forgetful and very dependent on the calendar on my cell phone, the calendar on  my Nook, the calendar my husband prints out for me and hangs in the kitchen, and my husband (who has a terribly memory *L*).  Losing my memory can be worked around.  I can relearn things.  I can take notes.  I just have to get used to the fact that I can't remember things....cause I was always the one who know when the bills were due, when the appointments were.
Ok, so where am I going with this....no where really.....just getting this whole blog thing rolling again.  I have a plan I think.  My hope is to be off all of my medications by the end of the year.  I am far too young to be taking all these pills.  There has to be a better way to take care of myself.  And so begins my search to find that better way.

Update....Update.....

Yup....I'm still here...I'm still alive!  It would seem that my blog has gone from talking about sewing and recon-ing old clothes to how the hell I'm surviving after a bout with meningitis and encephalitis.
Sooo.....in review *L* I got sick the 3rd of February of this year.  I had to take two months off....February and March because I was on house arrest.  I went back to work, barely, at the beginning of April....I struggled through April, May, and June.  I am now on a leave of absence until I feel like I can go back to work and be able to work all day every day.  We're thinking maybe September?
Now here is the part where I get to rave about my boss.  I work for a lawyer who works as a public defender for the county.  He also happens to be my step-dad.  He has been awesome....amazing.....supportive.....understanding.  I know that I have the fact that I work for family on my side.  If I worked anywhere else I would have been let go quite some time ago.  He has put up with my need for a whole lot of sleep...with my lack of ability to recall words or how to do my job....my need for far too much medication......my need to call in at a moments notice because I have a migraine AGAIN!   Mike (the boss/step-dad) has said that my job will there when I am ready to come back!  My mom has also been awesome. She's been understanding....supportive!!  All up in my business mommy style!  *L*  She checks on me, fusses over me, laughs with me when I say crap that doesn't make any sense!  AND....she has stepped into my job to cover until I am ready.  Once again, thank goodness for family!  They may drive me crazy from time to time, but they've got my back!!
On to my husband.....he is probably the most wonderful person I know.....he has put up with a whole lot of fall out lately.  He loves me...no matter how crazy I get....he loves me!  He has taken over most all of the running of the house and family...he pays the bills, he does the housework, he makes all the phone calls, picks up my medication, does all the driving (because I'm afraid to drive).  He is the one steady thing in my whacked out head.  He puts up with my napping, my crying, my yelling, my panic attacks, my headaches, my crazy talk....and he hugs me and tells me that this is just a very small part of our lives and that we will survive this...that we will get through this!  I am so crazy in love with my husband!!
Then there are my kids....Man do I love my kids.  They have been so incredibly understanding.  They don't question when I disappear for yet another nap.  They call and check on me....they fuss over me....they're always making sure I have my purse, my keys, my glasses.....they all calmly and silently wait for me to try and remember a word, a sentence, a story.  They patiently tell me that I've already told them that story or asked them the same questions over and over again.  I think we have raised some very amazing children to be some very amazing, compassionate, loving adults and almost adults!
So......that's where I am right at this moment!

I am still alive...

Oh yes...have no fear....I am still alive.  I have a whole stack of projects that I have finished up and I'm dying to share.  I have the pictures, I'm just too tired tonight to upload them.

Quick update on my health. .I have a neurologist....whoo hoo!!  February 3 of this year I was in the hospital for 9 days with viral meningitis where I also developed encephalitis (brain swelling).  Ok....So, yesterday was the 4 month mark.  For every single day of the last 4 months I have had a headache.  Never changes, never goes away, always in the same place.  Hence I have a neurologist.  It would seem that the brain swelling switched on my migraine switch permanently....so I've been experiencing a steady, non-stop migraine...What the hell?

My doctor has been great....my neurologist has been great.....and my husband has been the absolute best!!  He has taken over EVERYTHING around the house since I need a 2 hour nap after doing even the smallest thing!  He's amazing and I love him like crazy!  *L*

I just wanted to update really quickly...I have a ton of stuff to share with you guys....I made my daughter anime cosplay stuff for a convention, and I recently had a birthday.  My husband threw me a USO dance...including a dance instructor!  It was awesome!!  I made myself a new dress out of a disaster of an ebay purchase.  I have a ton of pictures....I will post the tomorrow....I promise.

Have a wonderful rest of the weekend!!

Just keep swimming...swimming...swimming....

Well, I'm still alive!  That's a good thing.  I still have a headache!  That's a bad thing.  I'm almost ready for the convention this weekend!  That's a good thing!  I absolutely adore my husband!  Also a good thing!  I have the best kids in the whole world!  Yet another good thing!

I am going to see a neurologist next week to see if they can figure out what the problem is....Fingers crossed everyone  :)

I'm sure there's sooo much more to say, but it's way past my bedtime.  *L*  I'm write more tomorrow.

Nighty night my friends!!

two more weeks until conventionm time!!!! EEEEK

It's Saturday morning and my family is still asleep.  It's when I love them all the most.  *L*  So, I'm sitting here in the quiet (the dog isn't even snoring *L*) contemplating....well....everything.

We leave for the anime convention on the 21st....just about two weeks.  If my daughter were awake I could give you an exact day, hour, minute count.  *L*  She's only just a little excited.  It's the thing she plans for and saves her babysitting money for all year long.

Today I will be sewing...and sewing....and sewing.  I am almost finished with one of her costumes...just a few little tweaks.  I cut out her second costume...just waiting on 10 hot pink zippers to arrive in the mail.  My husbands coat is almost finished, just have to do some finishing touches and add lots and lots of buttons.  And his vest is cut out, just needs to be put together.

 My outfit is coming together....I just got the sexiest boots in the mail...knee high lace up jobs...I didn't think I would like them or find them comfortable, but got them because they went with the theme of my outfit!  However, i am in love with them...so comfy and soft....I will post pictures when the outfit is done.

http://www.discountwomensdressshoes.com/servlet/StoreFront ( go here...they have amazing prices and ship fast....and they have some very vintage-esque shoes (that I will be ordering very soon *L*)

 I got all the parts to finish my underbust corset, so I will try to get that mostly done this weekend as well.  *L*

THEN....on top of all the stuff I'm working on for the convention, my daughter is in a play and brought home two of the costumes that are cut out but need to be sewed together...sure....no problem  *L*  I can do that!

I've recently been teaching her to sew...it's a good skill to have...and now the teacher/play director keeps giving her things to make because no one else in the class knows how to sew....*L*  oops.  I told her, welcome to your new hobby....you'll get hit up AAALLLL the time to just "whip something up".  She says she doesn't mind!  *L*

On a side note...let me leave you with a picture that sums up the new and not so improved me right now...

I complain, but I am grateful every day that I am alive!

Really? Seriously??

Well....I officially start back to work full-time ish next week.  A nice regular schedule...finally.  I have had quite a few set backs lately.  The doctor put me on an anti-viral medication so I don't get sick again....sadly, the pills made me feel like crap!  There are about 30 side effects to this medication and I had almost all but the vomiting. Whoo hoo....they took me off that and I have sworn to never ever take it again unless it's being delivered via IV in the hospital.  Yucky stuff!
This little adventure started on February 2nd.  Since they took me off the anti viral medication I feel better...all the side effects but one went away!  What is this last effect, you ask?  It's a headache.  A bad, bad, BAD headache that makes me want to punch babies!  I have had it every single day for the past two months.  It never changes in intensity, in never changes location....it never changes!  And I think it sucks a whole lot.  Sooo...what does this mean for Trixie?  I have to go see a Neurologist...I fear one of two things happening:
1.  They tell me they can't find anything wrong with me and tell me to just suck it up, it must be all in my mind.
or
2.  They find something terribly wrong...."sorry Trixie...that's a bad brain you got there...gonna have to tear it out and replace it!"
Silly and irrational, I know, but that's my fear.  *L*

I have been sewing a little bit.  We're going to a convention next month and I have a TON of things to finish up.  I keep meaning to make myself a list so I can keep track...in case I haven't mentioned it, the meningitis and encephalitis did quite a little scramble of my memory....basically....can't remember crap!!  *L*  I take lots and lots of notes...Post its are my friends!  I keep forgetting to make myself that list.  HA!!

My husband somehow talked me into playing dungeons & dragons with him.  He is a gamer....loves miniatures and dice...I sat down to watch him, our oldest son, and a friend play...and somehow, probably due to my brain damage, I ended up with a character.  WHAT THE HELL??  I don't game!!  I play the occasional video game (hubby bought me a Wii for mothers day so I could play Cooking Mama *L*) and I do play the occasional board game with the kids.  But I don't play fantasy games!  I don't play zombie games!    And yet, I find that now I own my own set of pink glittery dice, and a handful of tiny little miniature people that need to be painted.  I find myself saying things like, "honey, does my thunderwave only affect my target, or will it knock back my companions?"  "honey, if I use my second wind to heal does that give me a +2 to my defense for the length of my turn".  WHAT THE HELL??  I'm gaming!!  *sigh*  I must love my husband very very much  *L*

So, here is one of the tiny tiny little miniatures I'm painting:

Can't figure out how to rotate this picture.  *L*

And what have I been sewing, you ask?  Well, let me show you:

My crazed steampunk-ish bustle skirt!!
Yeah...can't rotate this picture either!

Fingers crossed that it's all smooth sailing....

Oh yes...been gone for a while now.  I survived my 9 days in the hospital and my two weeks on home iv infusions.  I started back to work two whole hours a day on the first of march.  I made it through the first two weeks then *BAM*....My husband's dad passed away on March 14.  Took another week off work to help my husband and my mother-in-law.  Started back to work this monday for 5 whole hours a day....then Monday night....*BAM*...major freakout, depression, insomnia.  Off to the doctor we go.  It would seem that the anti-viral suppressive medication makes me sick...gives me a headache....won't let me sleep.....makes me depressed....makes me anxious....makes me jittery......makes my legs move AAALLL night long....makes my joints ache.  WHAT THE HELL??  I have been taken off that medication....I still have a bit of a headache, but I think I'm on the road to recovery....FINALLY!!

I've started sewing over the last few days.  I have lots of things that have sat in my craft room all neglected and stuff....I will post pictures of these wonderful little projects soon.  

But, for now, I'd like to leave you with a couple of things to cheer you up....

My dangerously bright spring manicure!

An awesome vintage ad!!