Oh how things change.

So, here I am...one month out from my little elbow rubbing with Meningitis and Encephalitis.  I haven't gone back to work yet.
I feel "wrong".  I have no other way to describe it.  I find myself staring off into space with my mouth open while my life happens around me.  I'm tired.  I feel different than I did before this happened.  I feel like I should be able to bounce back like I do after a cold.  But I feel different.  I feel panicked.  I feel tired.  I feel uninterested.
Like I said, my life is happening around me.  My husband is having a conversation with our oldest son about Dungeons and Dragons.  My youngest daughter is in my craftroom sewing something...without my help.  My 18 year old son went to Spokane for the weekend.  My other daughter turned 20 years old today.  My life is happening around me.
I haven't seen any friends since the hospital.  It happens like that...the emergency is passed so my friends go on with their lives.  I should be going on with mine, but I'm not.  I sit here in my recliner feeling like crap, watching my life happen without me and feeling like crying all the time.
I don't know how to fix it.  I don't know what kind of help to ask for since I don't really know what's wrong.

Here's hoping for some better days.