So, here I am...one month out from my little elbow rubbing with Meningitis and Encephalitis. I haven't gone back to work yet.
I feel "wrong". I have no other way to describe it. I find myself staring off into space with my mouth open while my life happens around me. I'm tired. I feel different than I did before this happened. I feel like I should be able to bounce back like I do after a cold. But I feel different. I feel panicked. I feel tired. I feel uninterested.
Like I said, my life is happening around me. My husband is having a conversation with our oldest son about Dungeons and Dragons. My youngest daughter is in my craftroom sewing something...without my help. My 18 year old son went to Spokane for the weekend. My other daughter turned 20 years old today. My life is happening around me.
I haven't seen any friends since the hospital. It happens like that...the emergency is passed so my friends go on with their lives. I should be going on with mine, but I'm not. I sit here in my recliner feeling like crap, watching my life happen without me and feeling like crying all the time.
I don't know how to fix it. I don't know what kind of help to ask for since I don't really know what's wrong.
Here's hoping for some better days.
I can only imagine how you feel. It's hard to recover from a long illness, and even harder when you are still just trying to feel normal and no one else seems to realize that there is still something wrong. I hope you are back on your feet soon. And feeling at least mostly back to normal. Big cyber hugs to you!!
ReplyDeleteoh I know how that feels..I felt like that when I came out of the hospital diagnosed with Chiari malformation..so depressing and out of it.
ReplyDeleteI hope you get better soon amor..*sends healing energies*
ask your Dr. and tell him how you feel.
I LOVE YOU!!!!! Don't know what else I can say, other than I LOVE YOU and you have always been one of my very best friends. I still talk about you ALL THE FREAKIN TIME. Man, did we have some crazy days...
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